So as most of my follows here will know I love to craft and so when time is available to me I peruse the blogs around blogging land..
I have read and sadly at times I forget to leave a comment, I am sure I am not the only one that tends to do this, I need to change this, maybe it will be one of my resolutions for next year..
One of the blogs that I love to peruse is Stephanie Howell, she is as true as it comes and as sweet as can be and I adore her sense of humor and honesty..
She wrote a blog post the other day that was true and honest and I loved reading every bit of it, so much so, I have chosen to do the same on this little blog that normally does not see too much attention.. to view her blog post just click on the icon below..
She states to blog authentically, whatever is truly on your mind, to not judge, no rude remarks/comments, no digs and most of all if you feel that blog posts are whining then don't read...just know that it is honest and straight from the heart...she has a link up that you can add your blog post..
So here goes mine from the heart..
1. At present, I feel as though the wheels are going to fall off in my life, everyone has this feeling at times, it is like I want to hide from the world as everyone seems to want a little something from me and I am running out of pieces of me..
2. I am about to loose someone that I love so dearly and it is breaking me in two, my Uncle who has been so strong and fought rotten Cancer for some years, it is eating away at him and I feel angry and hatred towards a disease that is not just taking him away from me, but his own family and extended ones...every time the phone rings my heart skips a beat, I don't want him to go and I am trying to learn to find peace with what is looming...it happens in life I know, but when you are the one experiencing it, it tears at you incredibly..
3. Work at times can be stressful, we all get through, but coming home to more stress is taking it's toll, our family have experienced so much medical issues this year and I have to keep looking past the bad and keep telling myself that someone else out there is having more of a rough time then ours, I am trying but it is hard, I need a new year to start and be a happier one..
4. My mojo for crafting is not there, I sit to craft, I have a heck of a load of product and I just sit and look at it and nothing comes to me to create, I am frustrated, I am hating myself being this way, the more I try the worst it becomes, then I don't try and it still does not happen, I have tried so many different avenues, I want to craft but why is it so hard at present, I am normally a quick card maker and I feel like what I am struggling to produce at present is less then acceptable...
5. With my own medical issues, I am finding it really hard to stay on top of my own house work, not having the mojo to craft is not there, but also not having the energy or incline to clean this house that really needs it is just as frustrating, I look around and feel like it is caving in on me and I am a failure!
6. I have pet peeves, I email people, I get that we are all busy that things interupt our lives, lots of little things prevent emails being returned, I totally get that, but should I have to follow up with several emails just to get the original answered, especially when I have taken the time out of my day/s to email...
7. I worry, worry a lot and wear my heart on my sleeve, I over think and at times I am my own worst enemy, how do you change a life time of bad habits..
8. I am not sleeping well, last night I got to sleep at 4am, my mind just keeps going, does anyone else have this issue?
9. My Mum amazes me with her ailments of Parkinson's Disease and Osteo in the back, that she is now so bent over it is cruel to watch and see at times she struggles, but this does not stop her, she gets up each and every day and faces life head on, has a beautiful garden that I am immensely jealous of..but I have pangs in the heart and water in the eyes, I feel with each and everyday she is slipping away..I cry at times and I know that is healthy, but it hurts, I embrace each moment I can with her..
10. I miss my Roly Boy (dog) he was the love of my life, not going on to have children, I feel as though I have lost a child, the heart hurts, I know with time it will heal, but will it fully knowing he was my boy, I have had animals in my life, but he touched me in a way that no other animal had, we had a bond and still now after months down the track I long and look for him...tears are swelling typing this..
11. I want to loose weight, but don't know where to start, I am not a gym type of person and struggle to walk, paranoid everyone that drives past says look at that fat chick, I know sounds ridiculous, I want to learn to eat more healthy but I am a fussy eater and don't even know where to begin to find recipes, I don't want to do weight watchers or slimming diets, I don't believe in them, I believe in doing it the proper way and on my own...
12. I am almost 40 and it scares the living crap out of me, 30 I seem to handle really well and was like it is just a number, I know 40 is just a number, but it is a scary number, not sure how I will celebrate or if I will just hibernate from it and hope it passes by LOL..
So there we have it, most of you may find this post depressing or negative, but it is what is from my heart and what is going on, what my true feelings are, I know there is a lot of positive too and maybe I will write a more positive blog post..
Read if you will, but please be kind in commenting, this is me being honest and well documenting in some sort of fashion, maybe this will help you too, maybe this is part of healing process, who knows, this is not to be read as winging it is from the heart as Steph says, there are to be no snarky remarks and being hurtful, it is a process for us all and one in which we either do or don't..
I have read a lot of the other blogs and they are all so inspiring, embracing and sharing and hopefully bringing some sort of cheering and compassion to each other, lets face it, we all need to be a lot more kinder with each other..
I hope you will think about speaking from the heart and sharing...
Hugs for now and yes I have decided I will be back with a positive post :)